I’m always entertained by the results of ‘research’ reported in the national press. You know the kind of thing –
‘Children who eat seven whelks a day perform 48% better in GCSE maths than those who only eat crayfish’. Or…
‘People who own a home sauna suffer 72% fewer bouts of haemorrhoids than those who regularly use a Jacuzzi.’
It’s junk science of the worst kind, usually commissioned by whelk fishermen and owners of home sauna emporia.
Just this morning, I read the results of yet another survey, attempting to discover the best place to live in the UK. Allegedly it was carried out by online comparison site, Money Supermarket, but I suspect the Bristol tourist board had a hand in it because that was the city which came out top of the list. Of all the places you could live in the UK, Bristol is the best.
Now I’ve got nothing against Bristol – I’m sure it has its virtues – but I don’t recall it ever coming high on anyone’s list of…well…anything before. You might bring it to mind if asked to name a city with two dire football league teams, or one with a crude association with breasts, but apart from that, it doesn’t normally come to mind at all. And that wasn’t the only thing that was odd about this research.
Apparently, one of the best cities to live is Leeds, and the worst of the lot…Bradford. I’ve been to both. I’ve been to both in the same day. In fact I’ve been to both in the same minute, because they’re right next to each other. I’m not sure at what point on the road between the two, it all turns from paradise to pathetic, but I think we should be told. Imagine not knowing, and then hitting the border. It must be like someone just switched out the lights.
The reality of course, is that the two cities share many characteristics and factors which underpin and determine their desirability as places to live. There are good (and not so good) places to live within each. What’s really important is not your post code, but your personal circumstances. If there are ten rungs on the ladder, someone on rung nine living in Bradford is likely to be living in a much ‘better place’ than someone on rung six living in Leeds.
And I think this is something people fail to take into account when they attempt to improve their environment or their circumstances. They over-attribute the impact of geography on their level of happiness or satisfaction. Location is the icing on the cake, but as any experienced baker knows, good icing can’t salvage a badly made cake.
Many who emigrate, discover this to their cost. After the euphoria of being in a new place with a more agreeable climate has subsided, the same underlying problems, dissatisfactions and shortcomings persist. The cake is as it always was. They may have a sun tan, but they are not living in a ‘better place’ in any meaningful sense.
The uncomfortable truth is that you can’t escape yourself. Wherever you go, it’s the only thing you’re forced to take with you. You don’t have a choice in that. And paradoxically then, the one thing you have to take with you everywhere will determine whether you’re in a ‘great place’ – no matter what any map or survey might tell you.
Geography solves nothing. It merely provides a backdrop for what really matters. And so the first stage of any realistic ‘escape’ plan is to work on yourself and your situation. Concern yourself with where you are, only when you’ve fully dealt with who you are, personally, psychologically and financially.
Footnote:
In any event, there are few locations so dire, that a couple of steps up the ladder won’t make things a lot better. I should know, I’m from Rotherham!
* My latest book ‘Why Didn’t They Tell Me? – 99 Shameless Success Secrets They Don’t Teach You At Eton, Harrow Or Even The Classiest Comprehensive’ is now published. Go to www.streetwisenews.com/why for full details.
I agree John, most of these things are psychological and in the mind only. However, with that said, some things like the levels of crime, and school standards and achievements and hospital waiting lists are important when ever you step outside of your home. But, figures cam be manipulated as we all know, so it’s wherever the heart finds peace.
You’re right of course. I think part of my point – which I probably didn’t express very well – is that you don’t have to move to another town, area or country to escape your circumstances. ‘Good’ areas have bad parts and ‘bad’ areas have good parts. Moving just a mile or two can have a dramatic difference (certainly where I live) and that usually comes back to making changes to yourself and your circumstances first, to make it happen.
Thank you, I’ve enjoyed your comments. Having spent my entire life in marketing and selling, I’m convinced beyond all doubt that a positive attitude is so very important to how you make yourself and others feel. I studied a home study course on auto psychology as a young person and can honestly say that I really enjoyed every part of the course study and the benefits I gained from it throughout my long sales and marketing career. Loved your comments about who you are !
Hi i also enjoyed the article, it is quite relevant at the moment as i am having trouble with a recent new neighbour and i have been pondering since an altercation this morning whether it is indeed me that is the problem, as for nice places to live; i used to live in a bedsit in Luton, this town was once described as the “armpit of Britain”, i don’t know about that, all i know is that i was working night shifts and the house was full of rastafarians who loved to play their loud music at all hours, and setting off the fire alarm several times a day, it was a nightmare, one day i had 3 interviews, 2 were better pay and prospects but the 3rd had a stipulation, you had to move to Milton Keynes within 6 months, i could not believe my luck and made sure i got the third option, all i wanted was to live in a safer, cleaner and quieter place, i got that and more, we know everyone by name on my street, we all have a cuppa in each others homes and trade veg and jam etc, my door is hardly ever locked, i’m lucky, as long as i can smooth the way with the new neighbour, fingers crossed.
Circumstances are different for all of us but I agree about positive attitude. Years ago I read a motivational book, I took it to my heart and in no time at all, I was being turned down for much better jobs.
I only live about fourteen miles from Rotherham and it seems like a decent place to live but it is the people that make the place. I’m OK now but a few years ago the private landlord who owns the semi attached to mine moved a gypsy family in and by the time the police finally got rid of them for me I was suicidal.
I have good neighbours now and enjoy peace of mind. I still get your letters and offers but I will never be able to do anything about them
Pension is about £120 a week, after you have frittered away most of it on energy, rates, home maintenance, food, clothing telephone, road tax/insurance/vehicle maintenance you don’t have much left for the important things like investments and most of the things you send to me are so unrealistically priced for a pensioner as to be laughable.
Good luck anyway
Dave
Many thanks for your feedback. Fully understand your comments about the affordability of some of our products, but we do try to come up with products and services right across the price spectrum – including quite a bit of stuff which is free! I suppose the thing to do is take advantage of the free information (the online newsletters and resiources for example) and then build from there.
Yes the grass is greener syndrome will in itself not solve anything. How you look at life glass half full or empty says alot. However, if you are in a rough area, being positive disposition will not change anything about it. Only your resolve to change circumstances and eventually leave the area!
I know of someone who went out to Australia thinking it would be better etc. A while later he came back on a visit. He did say he saw signs (at least in his mind anyway) that they (the new home country) were heading down the same road as back here in the UK – he hadn’t really escaped from the ills of society as he perceived them.
You’ve done it again, you swine! I was born and lived in Tottenham until age 25. Lovely place, but it was during the war and we had other things on our minds. Moved out into Essex because property was cheaper. Stayed 30 years. I now live in Rutland which I regard as being ‘Camelot’. But wherever I have lived I have always had nice neighbours, despite being employed as ‘the most hated man in Industry’, I became a Work Study Engineer. People are what you live with and you make your own nest. Do not foul your own nest!